Today was like a milestone for me. I met up with my sister after not seeing her for 8 years. The last time we spoke was a very unfortunate event, her son had been murdered and as we all know the media has very bias and slanted views on what they report. I became very angry at the way my nephew was being portrayed and went on the news to defend him without realizing how much this would hurt or anger my sister, so the last time we spoke was her yelling at me out of frustration and anger. We have now reconnected, but both know it is the right time to reconnect. We are on similar paths, but at very different points in those paths and I will now get to have a big sister to lean on and depend upon when I am in need of comfort and for me that is very exciting. For those of you who do not know I grew up as an only child, but knew that I had an older sister and brother from my father's previous marriage. It was difficult growing up without contact because I longed for the relationships and the connections, but I now realize as an adult that it was not meant to be at the time.
It was so exciting speaking to my sister, woman to woman today…not only did I gain a sister but I gained a friend. My sister is fortunate in so many senses because our father left her mother when she was 18 months old, so she did not live through the same horrendous experiences I did. I did find out that our father was very abusive to her mother as well. It was so comforting for me to know that she acknowledges and respects the fact that my childhood reality is very different from her childhood reality. She was able to answer so many questions for me and that helped me tremendously. This step was huge because it meant that I actually looked into a part of my own self and my own history which I have done so much to ignore and run from in the past, but I am now finding it very healing to look at my personal history.
My sister has been on a journey of her own…I could not imagine facing the loss of two children like she has. She has also made some very powerful decisions for herself and it is so amazing to get the opportunity to look into such a beautiful woman's eyes, heart, soul, and mind. It was so nice to make such an incredible connection that I know will never be lost again.
The other step that was taken in my journey today was being led to someone who I have been questioning if it was worth my time to really try and allow them back into my life and quickly found out this person has not truly changed as they have claimed to and I am so grateful because now I know that I will not go through another cycle of pain and destruction with this person.
I am so grateful that I am being protected and those that are truly supposed to be in my life are and those who are not supposed to be allowed in my life are being withheld from my life.
Today has yet allowed me to see and believe that all paths and "coincidences" are for a reason, but we have to have our eyes, mind, heart, and soul open to see what is being shown to us.
This journey may have just begun but everyday a path is opened and shown to me because I took the first step in going into my own recovery from my own self destructive behaviors and into healing wounds that have only been scabbed over one too many times over the years. From this I want to encourage anyone who is choosing to read and follow my journey that if you are in need of something, take the first step and the rest will happen, probably not in your way, but in the way that your life is destined.
I am learning that I have an incredible destiny ahead of me and some beautiful paths to follow on this journey. Here is to continuing to let our heart's light shine brighter and brighter everyday! Blessings…
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