Journey of Change

So I know it has been awhile since I have truly shared anything, but it is because I have been in this place of change. You have to understand, change is a very scary and difficult journey for me because I have never been one to embrace it, as a matter of fact, I have been the one who has ran the furthest from it. However, since I entered this point of my life, the point that I said the journey has to begin to turn, because I want the next 30 years of my life to be incredible, I have had to embrace a journey of change.

I am incredibly proud of myself right this moment because I took control over my life, my actions, and my reactions.

I have stood up, I am not carrying others, and I am taking power over my life. Due to this I am empowered.

I have resigned from a position that had become incredibly toxic for me. I loved who I served, but the office I am required to be in is so full of toxicities and negativity that it began to affect my health again. When this journey commenced I made a promise to myself that my health would be a priority, so the environment wants to tear it apart, I have to make the decision to say bye-bye, see you later…and that is what I have done. In the midst of me making the decision to resign and the reason it is a huge deal for me is because I took power, stood up to a male authority figure and said I am not going to take your crap anymore. A part of this is healing for me because the male authority figure in my life as a child, my father, was controlling, domineering, and horrible, but he intimidated me so much to the point that I lived up until now not being able to stand up to men in these kinds of positions. Well now, I am proud to say that I can and I will.

I am also proud of myself because I have chosen to not run…you see when things would get hard for me, I would just run, and run, and run, until I was out of danger. Things are incredibly hard at work now because I now know the truth about several people I work with and yet I have decided to face it head on, head up, and chin out. Exciting for me and a lesson.

Within all of this I have learned many lessons as well and I may write about those at some other point. However, the largest change is about to come for me. I have the official word that I am a graduate student at UTA. I will be attending there by myself. I will have no security blankets, only myself. This is a huge journey for me, but very exciting. I am the first person in 2 generations to go to college and the first woman to go to college in my family and now I am pursuing graduate work. This is absolutely amazing and blows my mind. I cannot help but be proud of myself and I have every right to be and every right to smile even bigger now because my journey is going further than I ever imagined it would go…

Be blessed!